Saturday, September 13, 2008
What would you do if your partner was caught cheating? Would you keep it moving or try to fix what has been broken?
Sooooo, you got caught with your hand in the cookie jar?? Or your partners weird ways have been exposed.... Either way you slice it, it all boils down to three little words"YOU ARE BUSTED"!!!! Now what would you do? Is that one of many things that are unforgivable or do you offer the offending party a pardon? Is it a scenario of "Once a cheat, always a cheat", or would you take the approach of "Everyone deserves a second chance"? So to break it all the way down, the question of the day is " If your partner was caught cheating, would you pack your bags and head for the door or would you stick around and work things out"? And remember, keep it real! It's easy to say what you will do when it's not happening to you. Let's open this hot topic up for discussion.
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7 comments:
Every thing happens for a reason in life. I am a true believer in that. What made your partner cheat is a question you would have to ask yourself and be totally honest. If they cheated because you were lacking then is it wrong for them to be happy because if you truly love some one unconditional you want them to be happy and if you do not make them happy them let them go. Now if you are given them every thing and they are stating that they are happy and it is all about you and you catch them cheating, I WOULD BE OUT. If I think you are cheating I do not have to catch you in the act, I would be out because life is to short to be stuck in some shit that just isn’t right. The funny thing about it is that you know when you are not happy and they know but no one has the balls to leave so they settle and in doing that they lost the most important thing. SELF. I have BIG BALLS.
GREAT QUESTION! I am a true believer and and living proof that no one is perfect.... and everyone falls short. I have been the cheater before, and still have cheaster tendancies, sometimes I got caught, sometimes I did not. However, I know that I have been able to stop cheating when I really wanted to. So, if I caught my partner cheating and I knew we had problems that may not be fixable, I would walk away. But if things are good and they expressed the desire to try again, I would eventually get over it, because that is what I would want them to do for me.
Let's see...This was my question and the hardest one to answer thus far. I am answering this question having been on both sides of the fence. I have been the reason somebody's man did not come home for the entire weekend. And I have been devastated beyond words when the very same thing happened to me. Needless to say every situation and every relationship is different. In some instances you have a case, where the person is a good person and they made a big mistake. And in other cases, you have someone that will cheat at any given opportunity. It's up to the individual to either forgive and move on or tell the offender to kick rocks. If it happens, it would be up to that person to evaluate which type of individual they have. And to be able to live with their own decision, whatever it may be. So long story short, one time shame on you, two times shame on me. I am more inclined to forgive and if it happens again than I am inclined to tell the person to Kick Rocks, and Bend Blocks. There have been times in my life where I needed to be dumped because I was as wrong as two left feet and nothing was going to remedy that. But there have also been times that I truly messed up and ended up with my ankles in the air, but my relationship was preserved and I didn't do it again and wouldn't do it again. I am willing to extend that olive branch, but I can't extend the whole damn tree.
I feel that cheaters can we reformed if they want to not if they are forced to. Having been the cheated on and a cheater at one point I can say this. The things that compiled me to cheat on a person did not change because I decided to cheat. They had nothing to do with him but more with who I was and where I was in my life. Now being a little older and wise I no longer feel it necessary to cheat because I am comfortable with me. The whole process of cheating requires lies; lies by the essences of their very nature are a cover for insecurities. People lie because they do not to deal with the messed up part of themselves. Cheating, lying and all of that goes with it does not make the person a bad person but it does make them disloyal. For me once a loyalty has been betrayed by anyone it can never be repaired. So I could not fix it because I didn’t break it!
My response to this wonderful question is.... it depends on the circumstances. I believe everyone is capable of making mistakes and deserves a second chance. However when it becomes clear that your partner is taking advantage of you, it's time to move on. The real truth of the matter is it's easy to say what you will or will not do, but until you find your self in the real nitty gritty, it's hard to predict just how you will handle your business.
Kick him/her to the curb of course! But hold up... I think I've been in this situation before, and I don't recall any kicking to the curb. Easier said then done. Of course it depends on the level of your relationship. Kickin occurs almost instantaneously when the relationship is new. If there are children, or a marriage involved it is much more difficult. (Or is that what you tell yourself?) If you forgive and TRY to forget, then you have a good heart (or you are gulity of the same so you tolerate the situation):). I think that when the cheating is occuring repeatedly, then one should examine themselves and ask the question "How much do I love MYSELF?" Another hard question sometimes, especially when you have been putting up with some bullshiggady for a period of time with no end in sight. My Jimpa said it best "Baby, you can do bad by yourself" I say kick his/her a__ to the curb. If its a long term relationship... Have some bail money stashed somewhere your homegirl can get to it.
This question hit too close to home, I decided to pass...
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